This past week, I turned 37 years old. It was far and away the most reaffirming birthday celebration I’ve ever experienced. I’ll keep the details private, because it feels more romantic that way, but I will say that this one felt different; three years away from 40, it finally feels like I am coming into my own; to live as I was always supposed to. There is freedom here.
I am realising what I want for the rest of my life with more certainty. The future is coming into focus and its clear how I will maximise the rest of my life.
I find myself wistful for quiet, verdant surroundings as opposed to citydwelling. My mind craves the continued pursuit of knowledge, great novels, and maintaining a healthy, reasonable perspective of the world and its state of flux.
The muse within me is nudging, much like when Robin Williams whispers “carpe diem” to the students in “Dead Poet’s Society”: “Finish writing that short story and self-publish, pick up your guitar again and sing your favourite songs, especially when no one else can hear you. Pursue a more interesting career opportunity, one you can revel in, even if it does not make total sense. Do not be concerned with what others will think, but create fearlessly and act with intention. Appreciate each phase of your journey.”
Exurb is simply a technical term for the area beyond the suburbs. Specifically, a place with a population density of less than 250 people per Km sq., but still connected to the economy of a larger city. Pike County, PA, one of the three counties in Pennsylvania I’ve lived in is a good example, along with the outer portions of Île-de-France surrounding Paris. It is a geographical location further removed from a city than the sububs, so that there is a slower pace of life, more green space, and little-to-no noise pollution, but not so remote that life’s conveniences are too out of reach.
I see this as an excellent analogy for the life I want to live: not so busy that I am thrust on a whim into a state of stress or overwhelm, and missing out on life’s most important moments. Also, not so quiet that I am uninterested in taking advantage of things like travelling, seeing my favourite bands in concert, or not exploring an enticing, yet still unclear opportunity.
It is about listening to your needs and taking heed when your mind and body tell you that it is time for a change of pace and fresh environs. In the same way that a city can wear you down if you stay for too long, and life in the countryside may make you prone to staying within your comfort zone, not realising your full potential, it is important to apply this principle to our decision-making in life.
It would be an enormous disservice to shut myself off geographically and say I will only reside in one particular place forever. I have a sense of obligation to remaining perpetually unburdened to the thought of a new beginning and saying “yes” to a promising new lifestyle that may be foreign…because eventually, I will no longer be a stranger there.
Our doubts are traitors
And makes us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt.
-Shakespeare, Measure for Measure, 1.4.85
A life well-lived is made up of exploring your most pressing curiosities and engaging in some balanced risk-taking, with a spirit of adventure. It is done in the name of obtaining every last ounce of joy from each passing moment and being able to look back with satisfaction that you well and truly took advantage of what life presented you with and maximised your talents.
It’s a subject I revist often here and though it can come off to some as disingenuous or overthinking, I come back to this point because I have an insistent, ever-present sense that we are far more likely to resent ourselves for simply coasting through life instead of digging down, putting in the effort, really engaging with its deeper aspects, and finding a way to appreciate the pursuit of a more meaningful existence.
Regardless of what it is all for or what may exist (or not exist) beyond this mortal coil, there is nothing left to lose when you live in the pursuit of what interests, excites, and fulfills you most.